To whomsoever this may concern,
I don’t know. I guess I just felt scared. I wasn’t really sure of what. It wasn’t those clichéd things like ghosts, phobias of all sorts, people or places. It was one of those things which can’t be fathomed into words, or explained to even the wisest of people. What was it then?
All night brooding and thinking led to my answer: I was scared of a lot of things. I am scared of not having a place in this world. I am scared of letting down those people I love. I am scared of not loving those things anymore which were my forte, which I could do in my sleep. I am scared of venturing out to this crazy world, and meeting all sorts of people. These may seem like mere sentences put together, but they speak out volumes for millions of individuals around the world. All of us, one way or another, ask our brain to stop thinking and theorizing so well like Richard Castle in Castle does. We keep persuading our brain that something will soon happen, so why think of it? We just want to yell to our brain. Ask it to stop. Why? Because we are just tired from our thoughts alone.
This is the unanimous voice of us over thinkers.
It looks like there are a lot of us around the globe, but no. Some of us do tend to think, but a small number of us are the extremists. We put up our statuses as being diseased with insomnia, but we are just thinking. Some of us wish we could put that much and heart and soul into our studies as we do into such frivolous thinking. We sometimes think of situations to such an extent that it soon becomes a planted memory for us. We start believing in it, and try to suck out all the happiness we can from those false memories. We take up one whole night for our self-introspection. We are our own pacifiers, friends, agony aunts, and helpers. We can imagine conversations that our bound to take place months later. And our theorizing! We imagine ourselves in situations that can’t even take place by any means whatsoever, yet we still do. We ask ourselves rhetorical questions like: If this happens, then what? If I die, then what? If this year goes like this, then what? Most of all, we are scared of things that haven’t happened.
I am not telling you all this so that you classify us as being misfits. We are just lost souls trying to find our way out. And that isn’t as bad as it seems! We are amazing individuals. Although we go on sites trying to find solutions to our overthinking, we sometimes are surreptitiously proud of it. Sometimes the most amazing and thought provoking ideas stem from our sleepless nights. Our analyzing sometimes helps us find solutions that no well-wisher of ours can think of.
But, we do want this to stop.
Can we really? I don’t think so. Maybe it’s just a built-in mechanism. Maybe we will never get out of this mess that we ourselves create. But please understand, telling us not to think so much will not help. Saying, “This is harming you, don’t think so much!” is all futile. Try to not laugh at us when we tell you about all the possibilities in our heads. Don’t smirk, when we ask you to clarify the same things again and again so that we feel at peace. Instead realise that we all our humans and we all are flawed in some way. Just try to understand, if not emphasize? You won’t be able to do the latter, you know.
Thinking of you (Did you see what we did there?),
The Over thinkers.